[Enter KING CLAUDIUS, QUEEN GERTRUDE, ROSENCRANTZ, and GUILDENSTERN]

KING CLAUDIUS

There's matter in these sighs, these profound heaves:

The way you sigh must hold significance.

You must translate: 'tis fit we understand them.

Explain it to me; I must understand.

Where is your son?

Where is your son?

QUEEN GERTRUDE

Bestow this place on us a little while.

Leave us alone in peace a little while.

[Exeunt ROSENCRANTZ and GUILDENSTERN]

Ah, my good lord, what have I seen to-night!

You won’t believe what I have seen tonight!

KING CLAUDIUS

What, Gertrude? How does Hamlet?

What is it, Gertrude? How is Hamlet?

QUEEN GERTRUDE

Mad as the sea and wind, when both contend

Mad as the sea and wind that fight each other

Which is the mightier: in his lawless fit,

To prove who’s stronger; in his fit of rage,

Behind the arras hearing something stir,

He heard a quiet noise behind the curtain,

Whips out his rapier, cries, 'A rat, a rat!'

Then drew his sword declaring ‘there’s a rat!’

And, in this brainish apprehension, kills

And in his mad, misguided view, he killed

The unseen good old man.

The unseen good old man.

KING CLAUDIUS

O heavy deed!

Oh no, that’s awful!

It had been so with us, had we been there:

He could have murdered me, had I been there.

His liberty is full of threats to all;

His freedom risks the safety of us all;

To you yourself, to us, to every one.

To you, to me, to everybody here.

Alas, how shall this bloody deed be answered?

What should be my response to this offence?

It will be laid to us, whose providence

It will be blamed on me; I lacked the foresight

Should have kept short, restrained and out of haunt,

To keep him close, locked up, out of harm’s way.

This mad young man: but so much was our love,

This mad young man! But as we loved him dearly,

We would not understand what was most fit;

It clouded our opinion what to do;

But, like the owner of a foul disease,

But, like someone infected with disease,

To keep it from divulging, let it feed

To stop it being public knowledge, let it

Even on the pith of Life. Where is he gone?

Unnaturally explode unchecked. Where is he?

QUEEN GERTRUDE

To draw apart the body he hath killed:

Disposing of the body he has killed,

O'er whom his very madness, like some ore

Rising above his madness, like pure gold

Among a mineral of metals base,

Embedded in a seam of solid rock,

Shows itself pure; he weeps for what is done.

To show he’s good; he cries for what he’s done.

KING CLAUDIUS

O Gertrude, come away!

Oh Gertrude, let’s leave now!

The sun no sooner shall the mountains touch,

Before the sun has sunk behind the mountains,

But we will ship him hence: and this vile deed

We’ll ship him off to England, and his crime

We must, with all our majesty and skill,

I must, with all diplomacy within me,

Both countenance and excuse. Ho, Guildenstern!

Explain and then excuse. Hey, Guildenstern!

[Re-enter ROSENCRANTZ and GUILDENSTERN]

Friends both, go join you with some further aid:

My friends, go get some other folk to help you.

Hamlet in madness hath Polonius slain,

Hamlet, in his madness, killed Polonius,

And from his mother's closet hath he dragged him:

And dragged his body from his mother’s chamber.

Go seek him out; speak fair, and bring the body

Go find him, have a chat, and bring the body

Into the chapel. I pray you, haste in this.

Into the chapel. Please, hurry along.

[Exeunt ROSENCRANTZ and GUILDENSTERN]

Come, Gertrude, we'll call up our wisest friends;

Let’s go, Gertrude, and seek our smartest friends

And let them know, both what we mean to do,

And share with them what we’re planning to do

And what's untimely done. For, haply, slander,

About this tragedy, so slanderous words,

Whose whisper o'er the world's diameter,

That spread throughout the world by people’s whispers,

As level as the cannon to his blank,

Just like a cannon fired at point-blank range,

Transports his poisoned shot, may miss our name

Won’t fall on us to hurt our reputation,

And hit the woundless air. O, come away!

And vanish in thin air. Now, come away!

My soul is full of discord and dismay.

I’m overwhelmed with anger and dismay.

[Exeunt]