ACT 1
[Enter GHOST and HAMLET]
HAMLET
Where wilt thou lead me? Speak; I'll go no further.
Where are you leading me? I won’t go on.
GHOST
Mark me.
Watch me.
HAMLET
I will.
I will.
GHOST
My hour is almost come,
The time has almost come,
When I to sulphurous and tormenting flames
When to the wretched flames of purgatory
Must render up myself.
I must return again.
HAMLET
Alas, poor ghost!
Oh no, poor ghost!
GHOST
Pity me not, but lend thy serious hearing
Don’t pity me, but listen very closely
To what I shall unfold.
To what I have to say.
HAMLET
Speak; I am bound to hear.
Speak up, I’ll listen.
GHOST
So art thou to revenge, when thou shalt hear.
Be ready for revenge after you’ve heard it.
HAMLET
What?
What?
GHOST
I am thy father's spirit,
I am your father’s spirit,
Doomed for a certain term to walk the night,
Doomed for a certain time to walk the night;
And for the day confined to fast in fires,
By day I starve, confined to purgatory
Till the foul crimes done in my days of nature
Until the crimes committed whilst I lived
Are burnt and purged away. But that I am forbid
Are cleansed and purged away. If I were not forbid
To tell the secrets of my prison-house,
To share the secret life in purgatory,
I could a tale unfold whose lightest word
I could reveal the basics of a story
Would harrow up thy soul, freeze thy young blood,
To tear your heart apart and freeze your blood,
Make thy two eyes, like stars, start from their spheres,
And make your eyes, like stars, pop from their sockets,
Thy knotted and combined locks to part
Your tangled, knotted locks to separate,
And each particular hair to stand on end,
And every strand of hair to stand on end,
Like quills upon the fretful porpentine:
Like quills upon a restless porcupine.
But this eternal blazon must not be
But mysteries of the afterlife must not
To ears of flesh and blood. List, list, O, list!
Be told to human flesh and blood. Now, listen!
If thou didst ever thy dear father love--
If you did ever love your dearest father…
HAMLET
O God!
Oh, God!
GHOST
Revenge his foul and most unnatural murder.
…Revenge his dreadful and unnatural murder.
HAMLET
Murder!
Murder?!
GHOST
Murder most foul, as in the best it is;
His awful murder; murders always are
But this most foul, strange and unnatural.
But this was heinous, dark and inhumane.
HAMLET
Haste me to know't, that I, with wings as swift
Tell me it quickly so I can depart,
As meditation or the thoughts of love,
As fast as speed of thought can be transmitted,
May sweep to my revenge.
And I can take revenge.
GHOST
I find thee apt;
I see you’re keen;
And duller shouldst thou be than the fat weed
You’d be more heartless than reeds rooted in
That roots itself in ease on Lethe wharf,
The mythic river of forgetfulness
Wouldst thou not stir in this. Now, Hamlet, hear:
If it did not stir you. Now, Hamlet, listen:
'Tis given out that, sleeping in my orchard,
They say that as I slept within my orchard,
A serpent stung me; so the whole ear of Denmark
A serpent bit me; so now all of Denmark
Is by a forged process of my death
Has heard a made-up lie of how I died
Rankly abused: but know, thou noble youth,
Through pure deception; but know this, young man,
The serpent that did sting thy father's life
The snake who killed your father with a bite
Now wears his crown.
Now wears his crown.
HAMLET
O my prophetic soul! My uncle!
I somehow thought as much! My uncle!
GHOST
Ay, that incestuous, that adulterate beast,
Yes, that incestuous, adulterous beast,
With witchcraft of his wit, with traitorous gifts,--
With superficial charm and devious gifts—
O wicked wit and gifts, that have the power
Such evil charm and gifts that have the power
So to seduce!--won to his shameful lust
To lure away—succeeded in his lust,
The will of my most seeming-virtuous queen:
Seducing my habitually noble queen:
O Hamlet, what a falling-off was there!
Oh Hamlet, she so badly let me down!
From me, whose love was of that dignity
She went from me, whose dignity in love
That it went hand in hand even with the vow
Retained the very essence of the vows
I made to her in marriage, and to decline
I made when we were married, and then fell
Upon a wretch whose natural gifts were poor
For that scumbag whose natural character
To those of mine!
Was not like mine!
But virtue, as it never will be moved,
True virtue cannot ever be corrupted,
Though lewdness court it in a shape of heaven,
Even when tempted by a teasing beauty,
So lust, though to a radiant angel linked,
But lust, despite a warm and happy marriage,
Will sate itself in a celestial bed,
Can tempt someone into a rampant bed
And prey on garbage.
And prey on weakness.
But, soft! Methinks I scent the morning air;
But, shush! I think I smell the morning air,
Brief let me be. Sleeping within my orchard,
So I’ll be brief. As I slept in my orchard,
My custom always of the afternoon,
Just like I always did each afternoon,
Upon my secure hour thy uncle stole,
Your uncle crept, when he knew it was safe,
With juice of cursed hebenon in a vial,
Holding a vial of wretched liquid poison.
And in the porches of my ears did pour
He poured, into the channel of my ears,
The leperous distilment; whose effect
That toxic arsenic, whose swift effect
Holds such an enmity with blood of man
Contaminates the flowing blood of man,
That swift as quicksilver it courses through
The same as mercury will swiftly flow
The natural gates and alleys of the body,
Throughout the body’s arteries and veins,
And with a sudden vigour doth posset
And, with aggressive vigour, will congeal
And curd, like eager droppings into milk,
And curdle, like the sour clumps in milk,
The thin and wholesome blood: so did it mine;
The pure and healthy blood. It did to mine,
And a most instant tetter barked about,
And quickly I was covered in a rash,
Most lazar-like, with vile and loathsome crust,
Like leprosy, with awful, ugly blisters
All my smooth body.
Covering my skin.
Thus was I, sleeping, by a brother's hand
So I, asleep, and by my brother’s hand,
Of life, of crown, of queen, at once dispatched:
Was robbed of life, of sovereignty, and queen,
Cut off even in the blossoms of my sin,
Killed prior to my recent fledgling sins
Unhouseled, disappointed, unaneled,
Had been repented, unprepared for death,
No reckoning made, but sent to my account
Not read my final rites, and not absolved
With all my imperfections on my head:
Of trespasses I carried to my grave.
O, horrible! O, horrible! Most horrible!
Oh, horrible! Oh, horrible! So horrible!
If thou hast nature in thee, bear it not;
If you have decency, don’t stand for this;
Let not the royal bed of Denmark be
Don’t let the King of Denmark’s bed become
A couch for luxury and damned incest.
A sumptuous loveseat of fornication.
But, howsoever thou pursuest this act,
But, how you choose to seek revenge for this,
Taint not thy mind, nor let thy soul contrive
Don’t taint the thought or actions you pursue
Against thy mother aught: leave her to heaven
Against your mother, though; leave her to God,
And to those thorns that in her bosom lodge,
And let her actions dig into her heart,
To prick and sting her. Fare thee well at once!
Like thorns that prick and sting. Now, time to go!
The glow-worm shows the matin to be near,
The glow-worm indicates it’s almost morning
And 'gins to pale his uneffectual fire:
Because its glow is starting to reduce.
Adieu, adieu! Hamlet, remember me.
Goodbye, goodbye! Hamlet, remember me.
[Exit]
HAMLET
O all you host of heaven! O earth! What else?
All you in heaven! And on earth! Where else?
And shall I couple hell? O, fie! Hold, hold, my heart;
And hell, as well? Oh, dammit! Heart: keep beating!
And you, my sinews, grow not instant old,
And all my muscles: don’t grow old just yet,
But bear me stiffly up. Remember thee!
But keep me standing up! Remember you?
Ay, thou poor ghost, while memory holds a seat
Of course, poor ghost, as long as I’ve a brain
In this distracted globe. Remember thee!
In this bewildered head. Remember you?
Yea, from the table of my memory
Yeah, from the place my memory is stored,
I'll wipe away all trivial fond records,
I’ll clear away all sweet but trivial thoughts,
All saws of books, all forms, all pressures past,
The reams of books, the documents, the stories
That youth and observation copied there;
I’ve picked up and observed along the way,
And thy commandment all alone shall live
And your instruction then alone will live
Within the book and volume of my brain,
Within the annals of my memory,
Unmixed with baser matter: yes, by heaven!
Unmixed with simpler thoughts; oh yes, by God!
O most pernicious woman!
You noxious, vicious woman!
O villain, villain, smiling, damned villain!
You villain! Villain! Smiling, guilty villain!
My tables,--meet it is I set it down,
My notebook! It is right I write it down
That one may smile, and smile, and be a villain;
That one can smile, and smile, and be a villain;
At least I'm sure it may be so in Denmark:
At least I’ll know it’s possible in Denmark:
[Writing]
So, uncle, there you are. Now to my word;
So, uncle, there you go. Now to my promise:
It is 'Adieu, adieu! Remember me.'
He said ‘Goodbye! Goodbye! Remember me!’
I have sworn 't.
I’ve sworn I will.
MARCELLUS & HORATIO
[Within]
My lord, my lord,--
My lord, my lord!
MARCELLUS
[Within]
Lord Hamlet,--
Lord Hamlet…?
HORATIO
[Within]
Heaven secure him!
God, keep him safe!
HAMLET
So be it!
OK then!
HORATIO
[Within]
Hillo, ho, ho, my lord!
Hey-ho, hey-ho, my lord!
HAMLET
Hillo, ho, ho, boy! Come, bird, come.
Hey-ho, hey-ho, mate! Come, bird, come!
[Enter HORATIO and MARCELLUS]
MARCELLUS
How is't, my noble lord?
How was it, my dear lord?
HORATIO
What news, my lord?
What happened, sir?
HAMLET
O, wonderful!
Something great.
HORATIO
Good my lord, tell it.
So tell us, my lord!
HAMLET
No; you'll reveal it.
No. You’ll tell others.
HORATIO
Not I, my lord, by heaven.
Not me, my lord, good heavens!
MARCELLUS
Nor I, my lord.
Nor me, my lord!
HAMLET
How say you, then; would heart of man once think it?
You say that, but can you be really sure?
But you'll be secret?
You’ll keep it secret?
HORATIO & MARCELLUS
Ay, by heaven, my lord.
Oh yes, I swear, my lord
HAMLET
There's ne'er a villain dwelling in all Denmark
There’s never been a villain here in Denmark
But he's an arrant knave.
Who wasn’t such a scoundrel.
HORATIO
There needs no ghost, my lord, come from the grave
We do not need a resurrected ghost
To tell us this.
To tell us that.
HAMLET
Why, right; you are i' the right;
That’s right; you’re quite correct;
And so, without more circumstance at all,
And so, therefore, without further ado,
I hold it fit that we shake hands and part:
I think it’s right we shake hands and move on:
You, as your business and desire shall point you;
You do whatever business you desire—
For every man has business and desire,
For every man has business and desire,
Such as it is; and for mine own poor part,
Of some manner—and I, for what it’s worth,
Look you, I'll go pray.
Confirm I’ll go and pray.
HORATIO
These are but wild and whirling words, my lord.
You’re talking random gibberish, my lord.
HAMLET
I'm sorry they offend you, heartily;
Sincerely then, I’m sorry I offend you;
Yes, 'faith heartily.
Yes, I’m sincere.
HORATIO
There's no offence, my lord.
There’s no offence, my lord.
HAMLET
Yes, by Saint Patrick, but there is, Horatio,
Yes, by the guard of Purgatory, there is,
And much offence too. Touching this vision here,
And great offence at that. This vision was
It is an honest ghost, that let me tell you:
A real and honest ghost, and let me tell you:
For your desire to know what is between us,
However much you want to know the truth,
O'ermaster 't as you may. And now, good friends,
Control the urge to know. And now, good friends,
As you are friends, scholars and soldiers,
For you are scholars, soldiers, and good friends,
Give me one poor request.
Grant me a simple wish.
HORATIO
What is't, my lord? We will.
What is it, lord? We will.
HAMLET
Never make known what you have seen to-night.
Don’t ever share what you have seen tonight.
HORATIO & MARCELLUS
My lord, we will not.
My lord, we will not.
HAMLET
Nay, but swear't.
No, but swear it.
HORATIO
In faith,
I swear
My lord, not I.
My lord, I won’t.
MARCELLUS
Nor I, my lord, in faith.
Nor me, my lord, I swear.
HAMLET
Upon my sword.
Swear on my sword.
MARCELLUS
We have sworn, my lord, already.
My lord, we’ve sworn already.
HAMLET
Indeed, upon my sword, indeed.
Well yes, but swear upon my sword.
Ghost
[Beneath]
Swear.
SWEAR!
HAMLET
Ah, ha, boy! Say'st thou so? Art thou there,
Ah ha! Do you say so? You there,
truepenny?
good man?
Come on--you hear this fellow in the cellarage--
Come on! You hear the voice from down below!
Consent to swear.
Agree to swear!
HORATIO
Propose the oath, my lord.
Propose the oath, my lord.
HAMLET
Never to speak of this that you have seen,
You will not ever speak of what you’ve seen;
Swear by my sword.
Swear on my sword!
GHOST
[Beneath]
Swear.
SWEAR!
HAMLET
Hic et ubique? Then we'll shift our ground.
What, here and there? Let’s move along a bit.
Come hither, gentlemen,
Come here then, gentlemen,
And lay your hands again upon my sword:
And lay your hands again upon my sword:
Never to speak of this that you have heard,
You will not ever speak of what you’ve seen;
Swear by my sword.
Swear by my sword!
GHOST
[Beneath]
Swear.
SWEAR!
HAMLET
Well said, old mole! Canst work i' the earth so fast?
Well said, old mole! You dug a hole so fast?
A worthy pioner! Once more remove, good friends.
You’re trailblazing! Once again, good friends.
HORATIO
O day and night, but this is wondrous strange!
Oh, goodness me—this is astonishing!
HAMLET
And therefore as a stranger give it welcome.
And so, just like a stranger, welcome it.
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
There’s more to heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy. But come;
Than can be dreamt of in philosophy. Come on,
Here, as before, never, so help you mercy,
Just as before: never, so help you God,
How strange or odd soe'er I bear myself,
However strange or odd I may appear—
As I perchance hereafter shall think meet
For I believe, from here on, that I must
To put an antic disposition on,
Start acting like a troubled lunatic—
That you, at such times seeing me, never shall,
That when you see me like this, you will never—
With arms encumbered thus, or this headshake,
With folded arms like this, or shaking head,
Or by pronouncing of some doubtful phrase,
Or saying something that could lead to doubt,
As 'Well, well, we know', or 'We could, an if we would',
Such as, “Well, yes, we know”, or “If we could”,
Or 'If we list to speak', or 'There be, an if they might',
Or, “If we wished to speak”, or “If I might”,
Or such ambiguous giving out, to note
Or any other such ambiguous clue—
That you know aught of me: this not to do,
Say you know nothing of me, don’t do it!
So grace and mercy at your most need help you,
Call on your greatest strengths to help you through.
Swear.
Swear.
GHOST
[Beneath]
Swear.
SWEAR!
HAMLET
Rest, rest, perturbed spirit!
Rest up, unsettled spirit!
They swear
They agree.
So, gentlemen,
So, gentlemen,
With all my love I do commend me to you:
I thank you from the bottom of my heart,
And what so poor a man as Hamlet is
And whatever this poor Hamlet becomes,
May do, to express his love and friending to you,
I hope the love and friendship that I share
God willing, shall not lack. Let us go in together;
Is, with God’s will, not lacking. Let’s all leave,
And still your fingers on your lips, I pray.
And keep the secret safe, I beg of you.
The time is out of joint: O cursed spite,
Affairs are misaligned: Oh dreadful spite
That ever I was born to set it right!
That’s made me be the one to put it right!
Nay, come, let's go together.
So, come: let’s go together.
[Exeunt]
