ACT 2
[Enter POLONIUS and REYNALDO]
LORD POLONIUS
Give him this money and these notes, Reynaldo.
Give him this this money and these notes, Reynaldo.
REYNALDO
I will, my lord.
I will, my lord.
LORD POLONIUS
You shall do marvellous wisely, good Reynaldo,
It would be smart of you, my dear Reynaldo,
Before you visit him, to make inquire
Before you go to see him, ask about
Of his behaviour.
How he’s behaving.
REYNALDO
My lord, I did intend it.
That’s my plan, my lord.
LORD POLONIUS
Marry, well said; very well said. Look you, sir,
Well, very good. Well said. Now listen, sir:
Inquire me first what Danskers are in Paris;
For me, first ask which Danes there are in Paris;
And how, and who, what means, and where they keep,
Find who they are, how rich, and where they spend
What company, at what expense; and finding
Their time with friends, how much they spend; and finding,
By this encompassment and drift of question
By these oblique, meandering enquiries,
That they do know my son, come you more nearer
That these guys know my son, you’ll then know more
Than your particular demands will touch it:
Than if you asked them bluntly what he’s up to.
Take you, as 'twere, some distant knowledge of him;
Pretend you barely know a thing about him,
As thus, 'I know his father and his friends,
e.g. “I know his father and his friends,
And in part him: ' do you mark this, Reynaldo?
And know a bit of him.” Got it, Reynaldo?
REYNALDO
Ay, very well, my lord.
Yes, very well, my lord.
LORD POLONIUS
'And in part him; but' you may say 'not well:
And by “a bit of him”, explain “not much:
But, if't be he I mean, he's very wild;
If he’s the guy I mean, he’s hedonistic,
Addicted so and so:' and there put on him
Debauch and boozy”, and whatever else
What forgeries you please; marry, none so rank
You want to fabricate; but nothing awful
As may dishonour him; take heed of that;
That may discredit him—make note of that—
But, sir, such wanton, wild and usual slips
But, sir, do call him loutish and unruly,
As are companions noted and most known
As these are quintessential attributes
To youth and liberty.
Of liberated youth.
REYNALDO
As gaming, my lord.
Like gambling.
LORD POLONIUS
Ay, or drinking, fencing, swearing, quarrelling,
Yes, or drinking, fencing, swearing, arguing,
Drabbing: you may go so far.
Whoring: no more than that.
REYNALDO
My lord, that would dishonour him.
My lord, that would discredit him.
LORD POLONIUS
'Faith, no; as you may season it in the charge
Oh no, trust me; not if you say it right
You must not put another scandal on him,
And don’t defame his character with slander,
That he is open to incontinency;
Or say that he’s a sexual deviant;
That's not my meaning: but breathe his faults so quaintly
I don’t mean that; but gently state his faults
That they may seem the taints of liberty,
Are typical of youthful liberty,
The flash and outbreak of a fiery mind,
Gregarious actions of a feisty mind,
A savageness in unreclaimed blood,
Aggressive in his inexperience,
Of general assault.
Which is a common trait.
REYNALDO
But, my good lord,--
But, my good lord…
LORD POLONIUS
Wherefore should you do this?
You wonder why I ask?
REYNALDO
Ay, my lord,
Yes, my lord.
I would know that.
I’m keen to know.
LORD POLONIUS
Marry, sir, here's my drift;
Well, sir, here’s what I’m thinking,
And I believe, it is a fetch of wit:
And I think it’s a rather cunning plan:
You laying these slight sullies on my son,
By quoting my son’s minor indiscretions,
As 'twere a thing a little soiled i' the working, Mark you,
Much like a thing gets dirty as it’s used,
Your party in converse, him you would sound,
You’ll learn of their opinions as you’re talking,
Having ever seen in the prenominate crimes
And if they’ve seen the crimes that you describe
The youth you breathe of guilty, be assured
Conducted by Laertes as you claim,
He closes with you in this consequence;
You can be sure he’ll then confer to you:
'Good sir', or so, or 'friend', or 'gentleman',
“Good sir”, or maybe “mate” or “gentleman”,
According to the phrase or the addition
Depending on the type of chap he is,
Of man and country.
Or where he’s from.
REYNALDO
Very good, my lord.
That’s brilliant, my lord.
LORD POLONIUS
And then, sir, does he this--he does--what was I
And then, sir, he’ll do this…he’ll do…what was I
about to say? By the mass, I was about to say
about to say? Good grief, I was just saying
something: where did I leave?
something. Now, where was I?
REYNALDO
At 'closes in the consequence', at 'friend or so',
At “then confers to you”, at “sir or mate”,
and 'gentleman'.
and “gentleman”.
LORD POLONIUS
At 'closes in the consequence', ay, marry;
At “then confers to you?” Oh yes, that’s right.
He closes thus: 'I know the gentleman;
He’ll then confide in you: “I know the bloke;
I saw him yesterday, or t' other day,
I saw him yesterday, or day before,
Or then, or then; with such, or such; and, as you say,
Or was it then? With so and so. And like you say,
There was a' gaming; there o'ertook in's rouse;
They were all gambling; completely sozzled;
There falling out at tennis:' or perchance,
All fighting over tennis, or perhaps,
'I saw him enter such a house of sale',
“I saw him at a house of ill repute”,
Videlicet, a brothel, or so forth.
That is to say, a brothel or suchlike.
See you now;
You see now,
Your bait of falsehood takes this carp of truth:
This small white lie helps you reveal the truth,
And thus do we of wisdom and of reach,
So we can know precisely what’s occurring
With windlasses and with assays of bias,
By testing roundabout hypotheses,
By indirections find directions out:
And indirectly know the direct truth;
So by my former lecture and advice,
So, by this cunning plan I’ve just described,
Shall you my son. You have me, have you not?
You’ll learn my son’s behaviour. Understood?
REYNALDO
My lord, I have.
My lord, I have.
LORD POLONIUS
God be wi' you; fare you well.
God bless, and fond farewell.
REYNALDO
Good my lord!
Thanks, my lord.
LORD POLONIUS
Observe his inclination in yourself.
Be sure to witness him with your own eyes.
REYNALDO
I shall, my lord.
I will, my lord.
LORD POLONIUS
And let him ply his music.
And let him practice music.
REYNALDO
Well, my lord.
Yes, my lord.
LORD POLONIUS
Farewell!
Goodbye.
[Exit REYNALDO]
[Enter OPHELIA]
How now, Ophelia! What's the matter?
What’s up, Ophelia? What is the matter?
OPHELIA
O, my lord, my lord, I have been so affrighted!
Oh lord, my lord, I have been terrified!
LORD POLONIUS
With what, i' the name of God?
By what, in God’s name? Tell me!
OPHELIA
My lord, as I was sewing in my closet,
My lord, as I was sewing in my closet,
Lord Hamlet, with his doublet all unbraced;
Lord Hamlet, with his jacket all unbuttoned,
No hat upon his head; his stockings fouled,
No hat upon his head, and filthy socks
Ungartered, and down-gyved to his ancle;
Left scrunched like prisoners’ shackles ’round his ankles,
Pale as his shirt; his knees knocking each other;
Pale as his shirt, his knees knocking together,
And with a look so piteous in purport
And with a ghastly, pitiful expression,
As if he had been loosed out of hell
As if he’d just escaped the grasp of hell
To speak of horrors,--he comes before me.
To share its horror, stood in front of me.
LORD POLONIUS
Mad for thy love?
Mad for your love?
OPHELIA
My lord, I do not know;
I cannot say for sure,
But truly, I do fear it.
But truly, I fear that.
LORD POLONIUS
What said he?
What did he say?
OPHELIA
He took me by the wrist and held me hard;
He grabbed me by the wrist and held me tight,
Then goes he to the length of all his arm;
And then withdrew a full arm’s length from me,
And, with his other hand thus o'er his brow,
And, with his other hand held to his forehead,
He falls to such perusal of my face
He stared with eyes fixated on my face
As he would draw it. Long stayed he so;
Like he would draw me. He then held my gaze.
At last, a little shaking of mine arm
Eventually, after he shook my arm
And thrice his head thus waving up and down,
And nodded with his head three times like this,
He raised a sigh so piteous and profound
He groaned a sigh so ghastly pitiful,
As it did seem to shatter all his bulk
It seemed to break the fabric of his soul
And end his being: that done, he lets me go:
And be his final breath. He let me go,
And, with his head over his shoulder turned,
And, with his head turned round over his shoulder,
He seemed to find his way without his eyes;
He seemed to find his way without his eyes,
For out o' doors he went without their helps,
For, without looking, he walked out the door
And, to the last, bended their light on me.
And kept his eyes transfixed throughout on me.
LORD POLONIUS
Come, go with me: I will go seek the king.
Come! Come with me! I’ll go and find the king.
This is the very ecstasy of love,
This is the madness of besotted love
Whose violent property fordoes itself
That self-destructs through violent behaviour,
And leads the will to desperate undertakings
Leading the person into desperate actions,
As oft as any passion under heaven
Just like the other passions of the heart
That does afflict our natures. I am sorry.
That influence our nature. I am sorry.
What, have you given him any hard words of late?
Have you said something mean to him of late?
OPHELIA
No, my good lord, but, as you did command,
Oh no, my lord, but as you have instructed,
I did repel his fetters and denied
I sent his letters back and wouldn’t let him
His access to me.
Have access to me.
LORD POLONIUS
That hath made him mad.
That’s what’s made him mad.
I am sorry that with better heed and judgment
I now regret not paying close attention
I had not quoted him: I feared he did but trifle,
Before I told you that. I thought him reckless,
And meant to wreck thee; but, beshrew my jealousy!
Intent to hurt you. Damn my jealousy!
By heaven, it is as proper to our age
It’s just the same for people of my age
To cast beyond ourselves in our opinions
To overstate and mandate their opinions
As it is common for the younger sort
As it is normal for the adolescents
To lack discretion. Come, go we to the king:
To lack discretion. Let’s go see the king:
This must be known; which, being kept close, might move
It’s better that we share the truth instead
More grief to hide than hate to utter love.
Of hiding it, for this would cause more pain.
[Exeunt]
